“Only One Thing Needed.” Really?
Sounds fishy.
I got an email a few weeks ago, "Dawn, someone recommended you to be a speaker at an event for our organization. We have a retreat in March. Would you be able to talk for a few minutes this week?"
Who is The Sparrow Fund? 🤔
I was curious; I had never heard of them, but I was about to make an unexpected, exciting connection. The Sparrow Fund is located in Phoenixville, PA; they were created to care for parents who have children they’ve adopted or are caring for foster children. The marriage retreat is appropriately named Together Called. They rent out every room at Bear Creek Ski Resort each March, and it sells out in a day. This past weekend, I got to witness the magic. Every last detail was designed to provide nourishment, support, laughter, and empathetic connection. The leadership of this organization is gifted at knowing how to care for weary people. They know what is needed because they have lived this same calling.
As I prepared, I knew I was speaking to couples who needed escape rest. They had handled 50 logistical components to make this weekend possible.
My parents could have used this organization when our family endured the swinging door of foster children coming in and going out. Whiplash for these kids was whiplash for us. We attached to these kids, and soon they were gone. As wrenching as it was, I wouldn't change it. Not only did I have to share my parents' attention, I had to share space, clothes, food, and time. An antidote to selfishness. The complete opposite of coddling.
My sister, Kim, my brother, Tim, and me 🙋🏻♀️
The best news is I got a brother out of the deal 🙃. Tim came to us when he was 6 months old; I was 16.
"We have a child who is being released from the hospital. He is 6 months old and weighs 11 pounds. We need a family to have him for about three weeks. Can you take him?"
My mom was a social worker in Philadephia, and she made it clear to my dad from the start: "If you marry me, you have to be open to adoption." My dad was made of the same stuff, so our home was full.
Nine years later, Tim was finally free from the foster care system. He was officially ours, and we were officially his.
The Sparrow Fund
These couples need what we all need--an anchor to steady us when the 40 mph gusts push us sideways. I am certain you’ve had a fierce gust come through in the last six months, taking out tree and limb...tossing your order out of order. Likewise, you know someone who has endured some level of wreckage.
I kept asking myself: What do these people need? What do their tired hearts need?
A quote I shared with these dear couples named it better than I can say it:
“Though usually regarded as the result of trying to give too much, burnout in my experience results from trying to give what I do not possess.”
We need a source. The human condition is such that we have a limit. And when we try to extend past that bar, all we offer are mere scraps, if we even offer that. There is no thriving, no giving, no overflow if there is no habit of refueling. There is no surplus if we don't have a supply.
[And for those who have mastered denial, pretending we don't have a ceiling doesn't buffer us from maxing out; it certainly doesn't safeguard those we love from the fallout. The disorder is coming out every which way; our cataracts are just too thick to spot it.]
Jesus was a healer of the blind. He has the power to heal us.
It begins with renewed sight and self-reflection. We get curious and notice our exhaustion, our irritability, and our reactionary responses. And when we identify this, we take a minute. We step away and survey. Self-awareness is an endangered trait, my friends. Protection from burnout starts with two simple things:
A mindset: Be reminded that you are not a DOER first and foremost; you are designed to BE. The goal for believers in Jesus, the Creator and sustainer, is not to strategize so we can be better at living, smarter at solving our problems, or more equipped to be self-sufficient. The goal is to remember our Source.
A Posture: Like Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to what he said, we must BE with him. Sit still, open ourselves up to his presence, and allow his influence to swirl around us and reshape us on a regular basis.
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10).
"Indeed only ONE." How do we miss this? Only ONE thing is needed? Are you serious?? I dismiss this bold declaration all the time. If I am transparent, I don’t actually believe this most days. But it is what he said to her, “Only one thing is needed.”
Sitting and listening to Jesus.
Instead of strategizing, problem-solving, and trying to be “better,” maybe we invite him to do it. Maybe we sit with him and let him influence us, change us, and solve the mess.
I can guarantee, a regular habit of being influenced by this man will benefit everyone in my circle.