Stuck? Lost? Self-Protective? 5 reasons to invite Dawn into your fog--
“
How we live our days is, of course, how we live our lives.”
Annie Dillard
When I explain the benefits of the objective voice of a counselor and the need for this kind of space for processing our challenges… these are the essentials:
1. We learn the necessity of self-evaluation and reflection: This is one of the most consistent observations I have made over the last two decades. We stay busy, and as a result rarely consider why we do what we do, why we are so afraid, why we can’t find peace, why we have so much conflict, why we haven’t left our job, why we feel so lonely, why our insecurities are more present, why our kids don’t respect us, why our marriages feel purposeless and dry…Not only are we rarely quiet long enough to reflect, we become less and less able to focus the longer we go without stillness. My sessions are meant to provide the space to put our lives under the light, to see how we have drifted off track, and to name the way back to the path of fullness, health and peace. Likewise, we must normalize our stories in view of God’s grace and faithfulness.
2. We reverse habits of behavior that are keeping us stuck: Most of us have gotten stuck without realizing it. Certain habits begin to wrap around our lives eventually leaving us dysfunctional. We aren’t aware they are holding us back. Oftentimes, we don’t even know what they are. Habits form over time; we drift into blindness by telling ourselves too many times, “There’s nothing to worry about, it’s fine!" Or, "This will eventually get better, nothing to fret over." But behaviors grow roots. It's worth asking some questions: Do you find you have trouble making the most of your day? Are you noticing your relationships default to shallow interactions and soon feel empty? Has your screen taken over your life and hampered your productivity and personal growth? Have you stopped dreaming and creating? Have you and your spouse forgotten how to be intentional in your marriage? Have you lost the authority in your home so your kids now run the show? Behaviors lead to a lifestyle and a lifestyle can suck you into a hole that is difficult to climb out of. Counseling sessions not only help identify what habits and behaviors have become destructive, but takes away their power by moving, a day at a time, in a different direction. The dependency on the Spirit of God is our safeguard as we grow.
3. Verbal processing allows space for clarity: Our minds are full of thoughts, agendas, lists, fears, unsettled relationships, dreams, work responsibilities and the list goes on. Likewise, we are hooked to devices that dump loads of information into our already full brains. The scrolling and streaming, the barrage of emails, texts and push notifications, break up our ability to focus. One hour of set aside time in a counseling session makes focus attainable, we can reach clarity. Not only is there FULL permission to be present, the space and time make it possible to THINK. When one of my clients begins to answer specific questions, he or she comes to significant realizations. Individuals hear themselves name what they are feeling and why. They slowly begin to make sense of the pieces that too often float around their entangled minds with no clarity. Verbal processing with the intention to discover keys for healthy living is a life skill. The Holy Spirit will use these conversations to reveal what is holding us back. If we are humble and willing to take a look at our lives, and if we are motivated to do the work, we will become more free and more content. Counseling provides space to do the work of self-care leaving a positive impact on you and everyone around you.
4. Few contexts in life present necessary questions, challenge false thinking patterns, and invite one to identity gifts that are underused: A big problem today is that we are bad at asking questions. People, even those we consider friends, have trouble listening. One of the most consistent frustrations I have heard from people young and old is that no one asks them questions. This is another lost life skill. Not only are questions helpful to identifying what has us stuck, but we begin to feel known. After a few sessions, questions allow me to know someone. And people want to be known. It matters. Being asked questions inevitably results in my clients learning how to ask questions of others. This is how we care for people; this is how deep, meaningful relationships form. In the setting of one-on-one sessions false thoughts are exposed. "Do you have any reason to know for sure that no one wants you around?" "Do you notice that you withdraw and, as a result, feel alone?" Questions clarify. Not only do they lead us into understanding of stuck points, they also lead us into identifying gifts and callings. Our individual crafting is meant to lead our decisions and even our vocations. If these go unnamed, they remain dormant. When one doesn’t use his or her gifts, they experiences less fulfillment in work. Sessions with me help one process and think in response to nuanced questions. Lots of growth happens here.
5. Having human company is comforting : In our individualistic society, we have lost the value for other voices in our lives. The fewer objective voices we have in our lives, the more likely we are to believe our own ideas, opinions and perspectives. Fundamentally, we were never meant to be solo thinkers. We spend many hours with our own thoughts combined with the deluge of media influence. We can become narrow and stubborn, believing our own maladaptive viewpoints. There is a fear of appearing weak, or needy when we call on others. And yet, other people equip us with wisdom, strength and hope. Other people can give us grace where we can’t give it to ourselves. There is a humility in not trusting ourselves so completely. Counseling sessions provide that objective, but gentle voice that cultivates human connection in a safe and trustworthy space.
Contact me to set up a free consultation. Sometimes it helps to connect in order to figure out next steps.